I’ve been watching this on Netflix. Gives me and the Boy something to talk about, like Friday Night Lights did back when.
It’s amazing any of us made it out of high school alive.
I’ve been watching this on Netflix. Gives me and the Boy something to talk about, like Friday Night Lights did back when.
It’s amazing any of us made it out of high school alive.
I was driving down to Ft. Carson this morning for a Spartan race. It’s about an hour and 45 minutes so I put on Slacker. Normally I have a “favorites” channel, but with all the time on the motorcycle and roadtrips lately I wanted a break so I listened to Front Line Radio. I wrote about that hear and highly recommend you give it a listen. You can follow this link to listen to it.
Two songs struck me this morning. One was “Drive On” by Johnny Cash. I honestly don’t know if I’d ever heard it before, which is surprising considering how many Cash CDs are floating around this place.
Not much more needs to be said about that song.
The other one? I’ve said frequently that I normally hear music but not the words. There’s a quote that I like that goes “When you’re happy you hear the music, when you’re sad you listen to the words”. That’s been true for me usually. And when a song resonates with me when I’m sad, I can’t turn that off. I can’t NOT hear the words when I’m happy again.
“Times Like These” by the Foo Fighters has been a favorite of mine for years, probably since the album came out in 2002. Maybe not. I was deployed for some of that year and it took some catching up. So maybe 2003. But it’s been in regular rotation on my road-trips for over a decade. I’ve sung it (as best as I’ve understood the lyrics) at the top of my lungs while driving. And never really thought about any of it.
This morning, they told some backstory behind the request. The service member who requested it said that they left the military almost immediately after their last of several deployments and when they did, this song was on almost constant replay for them for awhile, strictly because of the lyrics “It’s times like these you learn to live again” and “It’s times like these you learn to love again”. Then they played the song.
I teared up a little and choked them back. Instantly I was transported back to my 3rd deployment. Before the deployment, being almost certain I wasn’t coming home and then when I realized I was, trying to figure out what that mean. I hadn’t made any “after” plans.
The last day. I woke up in the hotel and typed out the post about having my photos accepted into the museum exhibit and my “last day” post. Then I got up and started my day. When I ate dinner in the hotel restaurant the night before they way overcooked my steak so they gave me a coupon for breakfast which they totally screwed up as well. After breakfast I packed my bags, loaded the bike and headed out for the Albuquerque Harley dealer to pick up a poker chip and see if they had any better gloves than what I was wearing. They didn’t, so I got on the road. I had enough gas to make it to Santa Fe and they had a Harley Davidson dealer as well, so I stopped there, got gas and scored at the dealership. They had heated gloves that were compatible with my heated jacket liner.
“Uh, sir. Are you sure you want those?” “Yeah, why?” “Well, it’s just that they are women’s.” “Are they pink?” “Well, no.” “Sparkley?” “No, they look just like the men’s gloves, just smaller.” “Well, let me try them on then.” I found a pair that mostly fit, they were a little tight, but they worked, so I got them. Best part? They were on the clearance table.
That made the ride a heckuva lot more comfortable. I got back on the road for Denver, stopping along the way for various photos and to make adjustments to my gear to make myself warm or more comfortable. I stopped in Trinidad and Colorado Springs for gas and at a gas station at some little town for gas-station pizza. The whole trip, whenever I stopped for something on an Indian reservation someone would ask me for money, but I never had cash. When I was getting off the interstate for lunch, someone at the bottom of the off-ramp asked for money. Again, I didn’t have any but after saying “no” so many times, I felt guilty and got money out of the ATM when I got my pizza and gave it to him on the way back out of town.
I got home around 7 and unloaded the bike. The house was still standing and was actually relatively neat. So the kid did ok. And the dog looked like he hadn’t been forgotten to be fed to many times.
He was also excited to see me based off all the face-licks I got from him.
It was a good trip, something I’ll be remembering for years to come. The best part of it? The next morning my Dad’s pathology labs came back good. So many great sights, opportunities to help my family out and friends. Chances to meet some new people.
I’m laying in bed in a hotel room in Albuquerque, Nm. I’m sick, exhausted, sore in some areas and in a lot of pain in others. And yet it was an amazing, wonderful trip. There were some moments of misery, but at no time was the trip miserable, if that makes sense? There were a couple of interpersonal moments with friends and family that sucked, but they would’ve sucked anyway, whether I was in the trip or at home.
It’s been a great distraction mentally and emotionally. We still don’t have Dad’s pathology reports back yet, work is a mess, there’s some ugly relationship stuff going on. And I didn’t dwell on any of that while traveling. Thought about it, yes. But didn’t dwell and obsess on it til it made me miserable.
I wish I could’ve seen more and done more. I wish the weather didn’t suck as bad as it did. But this close to the end, I have to say that it’s been perfect and everything that happened, happened for a positive reason.
Dad did great the day before. Multiple walks, sat up most of the day and was in great spirits. Woke up Friday and he was still doing good so after we went for a walk, I took a shower and got ready to go.
Once upon a time I worked for a company that was a political nightmare. 3 partners owned it, and I was regularly butting heads with the brother-in-law of one of them. Even though I demonstrated the ability to pay for my entire team’s salary for years in operational savings I was still laid off when push came to shove. A year or so later, my former boss at that job started texting me out of the blue, then called me, then added me on LinkedIn and Facebook. It was so weird to me, that I stayed in touch with him out of curiosity, wanting to know what his end game was. He recently moved to Phoenix so when he saw I was traveling through he started reaching out a lot to see if I wanted to get together. He was kind of on the way to the next stop on my tour, so I agreed to meet him for lunch.
That was nice. It was a good drive and basically even though he can’t say “I’m sorry”, that’s what he wanted to do. Apologize for the way things went down. We probably won’t ever be close friends, but nice not to have any anger towards him. After lunch in Cave Creek at a biker bar, I got on the road, taking the Carefree Highway to I-17 to Flagstaff.
Once I got to Flagstaff I pulled out my phone to start pulling up instructions to page and found out it hadn’t been charging. My bike has a pigtail attached to the battery to connect it to a battery tender. I’ve got a cigarette lighter adapter that I can plug into the pigtail, then I can plug a charger into that. My phone had been plugged in for the whole ride up. What had happened, was that the factory installed the pigtail on the exhaust side of the bike. At some point, the pigtail had slipped from the ziptie they used to attach it to the passenger’s peg and the end had hit the exhaust and melted a titch. Once it melted it shorted out on the exhaust and blew the fuse.
I’ve been collecting HD poker chips, so even though it was out of the way I ran by the dealer and bought a new pigtail and a chip. Then I installed the pigtail in the parking lot, this time routing the cable to the other side of the bike. Once it was done I got on the road to Page again. That ride got a little dicey. Crazy winds, some rain and some snow, but it was well worth it once I got to Horseshoe Bend. It was gorgeous!
A friend of mine owns a company that hand makes longboard skateboards. They recently started selling HydroFlask bottles with their logos on them. I brought one along on the ride to get some “lifestyle” photos for them. I’ve propped it up along the way, on the bike or on some fence post, but didn’t have any pics of it with someone holding it. On the walk from the parking lot to the bend (3/4 of a mile) I started talking to one girl. Turns out she had an incredibly attractive friend, so when we got to the bend, I asked her friend if she’d be my model and if she’d mind if I posted the pics on social media. She was totally cool about it.
On the walk back, some Russian girls where on vacation started talking to me. They were doing a tour of the major monuments and parks in the southwest. When we got to the parking lot, I left them when we passed my bike. As I was getting geared up, one of them came up and asked what direction I was headed in. When I told her I was going to Page, she asked if I’d be willing to give her a ride to the Wal-Mart there. Her friends took my bag in their car so the seat would be open.
It was fun. She was whooping and hollering back there she was enjoying it so much. I felt totally guilty, it was only about a mile and a half in a straight line from the parking lot of the Horseshoe Bend to the Wal-Mart parking lot. No curves, no bends, no real fun. But she loved it. After I dropped her off and got my bag remounted, I refueled and headed out to Kayenta, Az. The sun had sent and it was freezing, literally. By the time I pulled into the hotel I was a Seansicle. I didn’t even eat dinner I was so cold. Just cranked the heat in the hotel room, took a hot, hot shower and crashed.
Mom, Dad and I (mainly Mom and I behind Dad’s back) had decided that I’d stay home with Dad on Day 8 while she went to work. When I woke up on the morning of Day 8 he and I went for a walk. The two things he’d been told to do were walk and drink a lot of water. I got home at about 1:00am and was supposed to walk with him at 6am. I wasn’t totally with it, but we went and did and it was pretty much a non-event. But when we got home, mom told me that while I’d been gone, he’d gotten pretty sick and spent a fair bit of time vomiting the night before. So she’d called work and told them she was taking the day off. The argued at first, so she told them she’d retire then if she needed to. After that, they decided maybe she could have the day off after all.
Since Mom was going to be home and Dad was feeling a lot better, I was kind of unneeded. But I couldn’t take off, we decided we’d make a judgement call on Friday (Day 9) about whether or not I should stick around. My friend was still in town, so I picked them up and we went up to downtown Gilbert, Az for brunch. Snooze is a restaurant that started in Denver and has spread to Az and California. It’s one of my favorite restaurants, but it’s really hard to get into on the weekends, so I decided to take advantage of the week day to get in. It was great, as expected. After that we wandered a bit and I dropped them off.
Dad was doing good that day. Was sitting up a lot more, we went for a couple more walks and things went well. So it was a pretty uneventful day. Caught up on reading, napped and decided that if he continued to feel well, I’d head up to Page, Az to try to make the most out of my trip. I’ve always wanted to photograph the Horseshoe Bend. So I made reservations in Kayenta and Albuquerque for my return trip.
Woke up on Day 7 at my parents’ place. Dad was feeling pretty craptastic and would get up for a few minutes, walk around, try and sit, hate it after a few minutes and go lay back down again. He was still pretty wiped out from spending the night in the hospital. He had his work done at the Mayo clinic, which is an incredibly nice facility but at the end of the day it’s still a hospital.
He and I had been looking at an old laptop when I was there a couple days before, trying to decide whether he needed a new one or not. I’d send him a solid state hard drive (SSD) a couple months before for another project and he hadn’t used it. I thought that might speed things up a bit, so while he was napping I rode the motorcycle to the local Fry’s Electronics and got some goodies. I came back, made a bootable USB thumb drive with a Windows 10 .iso file I’d downloaded while I was gone and installed the new SSD into the laptop and installed Windows 10 with the original installation code. This project kept me busy most of the morning and early afternoon. Once I got the laptop up and running, it was a little zippier and I started updating it and configuring it to his specific preferences. He seemed engaged and happy with it.
Dad seemed to be doing pretty well. Mom had taken a bit of time off, between a month at the end of 2016, two weeks for their Europe trip and then the weekend and some days earlier this week for the surgery so she felt like she needed to get back to work. We talked about it and decided I’d stay another day or two so that Dad wouldn’t be alone.
I had a friend in town and Dad seemed to be doing ok and Mom was with him, so I headed out to hang out with them. They were only here for a short while, and had never seen Arizona before, so I took them out on 60 to Superior because it was close, has great view and I wanted to turn around at Superior and come back into the city as the sun was setting. We timed it perfectly and they got some gorgeous views.
After totally geeking out for awhile, we went to the Alamo Drafthouse and saw the live-action version of “Beauty and the Beast”. Mock all you want, I’m okay with it. A) I’m a sucker for a good musical B) I’d seen the animated version and it was fun to see the transition and C) it had Emma Watson and she’s a cutie D) they had this Mr. Pineapple beer that was amazing and I was happy to sit anywhere for 2 hours and drink one of those.
Dropped my friend off at their hotel and headed home for the night. It wasn’t an exciting or super productive day but it felt good to help Mom and Dad out a little and to see Dad doing better. And even though it wasn’t a super long ride, I still got a couple hours in with gorgeous views. It was pretty neat to see the difference in downtown Gilbert and Chandler since when I lived here.
So. I woke up on Day 6 feeling a little weird from the night before. But I also felt better. I don’t know what “closure” there was, but it was there and I slept well. Got up and walked the campus in the daylight. Went into the bookstores to see if there was any UofA schwag I needed to buy. Went into the art store and drooled over art supplies even though I didn’t need them, then went back to the hotel, got packed-ish and headed out to lunch at Trident Grill, a military bar.
After lunch I went back to the hotel and finished loading the bike up and headed out of town. I stopped by the north Tucson Harley dealer to pick up a poker chip. I have to figure out what my “rules” for those are. Do I have to go to the dealership on a motorcycle to get a chip and display it? Or if I’m in the area on business travel and stop in does it count? I’m pretty sure if someone gets one for me I won’t ever display it unless I was with them. That was fun. The front counter girl was really cute and waved to me across the parking lot when I pulled up, then came part way out to meet me when I stopped to take a picture of a VIP parking spot they had reserved for Purple Heart recipients.
After I left, I headed back up to Phoenix going the back way. Back through Florence to Coolidge to Chandler. I wasn’t in such a rush this time, so I stopped along the way, taking photos of the Pinal Pioneer Parkway sign, at the Tom Mix memorial and of random things on the way. At one point I passed a 6 foot long rattler sunning himself in the other lane. At Florence I stopped for gas and chatted with another dude on a Harley who was kind of goofy. He was wearing camo pants that weren’t US military issue, was open carrying a pistol and claimed to be a vet from 11th group. I’m going to call BS on that one.
I made it home and it was kind of shocking to see Dad. He was in a lot more discomfort from the operation that we really thought he’d be. Some of the past ones had gone so well that he’d kind of gotten cocky and was fairly nonchalant going into it. But as soon as I got home, I headed back out the door to get his prescriptions filled and to get some other supplies. For the first time in years he was having me fill the prescription for painkillers, “just in case”.
It was pretty uneventful after that. Just hung out in case the family needed anything. Did a little more research on the return trip and coming up with some contingency plans. Originally, when I was leaving Tucson, I thought “Oh, well the doctor said that Dad can’t drive, but nothing says he can’t ride. Maybe we’ll still roadtrip.” But as soon as I got home and saw how much discomfort he was in, that went out the window. Then I started thinking that maybe I could still see my Army buddy in Las Vegas, but instead of going home through the snow after that, I’d head out to LA, see an Army buddy there, then come back to Phoenix, check in with the folks and spend the night and then head home.
Day 5 was kind of weird. Normally when I visit my parents it’s an incredibly relaxing experience. I don’t know if it’s them, their house, the heat that bakes the stress out of me or what, but normally I leave their place calm and centered. That didn’t happen this time. And Dad and I had some difficult conversations while driving. He asked me whether I blamed him or held a grudge for moving so much as kids and my opinion on some of his other parenting decisions. Day 5 I was just exhausted. I woke up a couple of times during the night and didn’t sleep super long. I spent a couple of hours hanging out with a good high school friend. He joined the Navy about the same time I joined the Army, so all our stories and shared experiences don’t end at high school.
That was fun to hang out with him, but at some point when I got to the hotel I just crashed. I remember telling myself it was kind of late for a nap but next thing I knew I was waking up a couple hours later. I wandered down the street to have dinner, then met up with my buddy for beers again at a new bar just a couple blocks away from my old dorm. After he headed home I toured the campus.
It was a weird experience for me. So much was the same, so much had changed. Partly I didn’t walk it during the day because I was beat and slept in late, partly because I wanted to walk it at night. When I went to school here, 25 years ago, I used to wander the campus at night when I couldn’t sleep or wanted to be alone. Or we’d get drunk and ride our mountain bikes from frat house to frat house, hitting every flight of stairs along the way. It seemed more natural. But it was surreal. There’s a building across the street from my old dorm. It’s got a very distinctive style and when I saw it, I realized that I’d dreamt of it numerous times over the years. I don’t really remember my dreams when I wake up, but when I saw it, snippets of them came flashing back to me.
There was a little sense of failure to deal with walking around. I always enjoyed my time here, and in hindsight, I’m having trouble remembering why I left exactly. And there was some guilt about being here instead of at the hospital with them, even though I know if I were there, THEY’D be feeling guilty about it.
There’s some antsy-ness. I want to be on the bike, riding and just leaving a lot of stuff on the road, I feel kind of trapped right now, like I’m wasting valuable time. Then there’s the news that snow is coming to Denver about the time I was planning on heading home.
Mom and Dad just got back from Europe. My little sister took them to Rome, Spain and France. It’s a trip that was planned for awhile, so my folks were thrilled to find out when Dad’s operation was scheduled that he’d still be able to go. Because Mom took so much time off for the trip and then was asking for this week off to be with Dad during/after the surgery, she had to work Friday and Saturday and I didn’t get to see much of her. So it was nice to have her around on Day 4. I got up early and wrestled with myself (no, that’s not a euphemism. Get your mind out of the gutter!) about whether to go for a run or not. My parent’s neighborhood backs right up to protected land with lots of hiking and biking trails and I usually like to do some trail runs when I’m there. But I’m NOT a morning person and if I want to run, I generally need to leave by 6:00am to get out, run and get back before the heat hits.
I ended up deciding to go and had a great run, but waited a little too long. I took an out and back path and the return run was miserable. By the time I got home Dad was up and done with the paper so I headed outside to give the motorcycle a quick wash. I wanted to get the magnesium chloride residue off of it and a fair bit of the bug guts. He did a WONDERFUL job supervising the process.
After we finished, Mom was up, so we headed out for breakfast and had a good day. Stopped by the Harley dealer so I could get a poker chip and drool over the bikes, went to Costco so they could get some stuff and I could show them turmeric, which I’ve been trying to get them to take for awhile now. And you should take it too, if you have aches and pains. Got some chocolate cake donuts with coconut sprinkles and then headed home. I hung out with them for awhile, then left for Tucson. I took 87 out of Chandler to Florence, then 79 to Oracle Junction to 77 into the city. I wanted to stay off the interstate and travel some roads I hadn’t been on in decades. It was a great ride. Gorgeous if you can appreciate desert landscapes.
The “highlight” of the trip was hitting a swarm of some giant, unknown variety of bugs. I ended up with bug guts and goo all over me and the bike. Couldn’t wait to check into my hotel and wash that off of me and then I spent the evening headed back to old haunts. Lucky Wishbone for shrimp, eegee’s for frozen drinks then riding on Hacienda Del Sol and Sunset to get some great views of the city and see my old house.
I got back to the hotel and it was nice to just enjoy some solitude. Love my parents, but it was kind of emotionally intense to be with them. Cancer has just screwed with our family so much, and the anticipation of the surgery, minor as it is, was a little nerve wracking. Dad’ll probably be fine but it’s a painful reminder that he’s 75 and the pain of loss is coming. Maybe not tomorrow, but someday. Having the ride to clear my mind and the happiness of old favorite foods and views was great.