I’ve gone through the typical peaks and valleys of life over the last couple of years that everyone does. I never completely imploded or anything, I got to work on time, dressed and fed. I had fun. I took care of the kid and the house. But there were some scary times. Five years ago I had to scramble to re-finance the house because for some reason right after the divorce I just stopped paying the mortgage bills. There was a period years ago where my respiratory health decreased significantly because I decided I hated running and wasn’t going to do it.
I don’t know why, but last week it popped into my head that my self-care was significantly improved. My 401k is growing, I take my meds and vitamins and supplements everyday. I’ve biked to work everyday but one for the past month, I’m lifting/working out regularly, I’m doing cleaning/house-maintenance regularly (and not just the bare minimum), growing a garden, sleeping as well as I can (but not avoiding it!), etc. My soda intake is down. Alcohol has never been an issue, but I’m drinking even less than I normally do. Eating veggies regularly. Ordering salads. I’ve been to church every weekend except 2 this year, started volunteering as a greeter which is crazy for shy/introvert me and so on. Heck, I’m even flossing regularly.
I’m not sure what’s responsible for the change, and I assume it’s multiple things. Some if just that I’m probably hitting a peak. My job is stable and my son is getting older and more self reliant, which takes pressure off of me. Stopped paying alimony which is taking stress off. Taking the meds regularly probably makes it EASIER to take the meds regularly. One of them is knocking my anxiety way down, which makes things like sleep easier, although there’s still issues with it. More sleep is probably making other things easier. Working out is probably helping with sleep. Sleep is probably giving me energy to make it easier to work out. J. Dad and I have been talking and sharing books and movies and insights about our various combat and military experiences.
It’s funny. Dad’s probably a big piece of it. I bought these chrome US flags to put on my jeep. They’re not big, they’re made out of metal and they look pretty classy in my mind. I was talking to him about putting them on and he surprised me. He’s always looked at a vehicle as an investment. Not something he’s going to make money on, but something that he’s going to lose as little money as possible on. So he’s always maintained his vehicles well, bought things that will wear well, provide enjoyment as well as being practical, etc. He’s never, ever put a bumper or window sticker on a vehicle. So to hear him telling me that I should put the chrome flags on my jeep and screw anyone who didn’t like them was surprising. And things like that are happening all the time with him. It’s been refreshing to see him in a new light.
It’s weird. I never thought about life at this age much growing up. But when I did, I’m sure I never would’ve pictured this much self improvement going on.